Tocophobia; Should Women Lie to Women?

Are you worried about child birth? No, I'm not just talking about concerned... I mean really really worried?

It has a name, Tocophobia and it is apparently an issue that is on the rise. These Tocophobic women say they were "traumatized me to this day...I haven't had children and now I can't look at anything to do with childbirth. It absolutely disgusts me" and also that "The more I learned about childbirth, the more afraid of it I've actually become."

So, it would appear that the issue here is that the information terrified them. Would they have gone on to have become pregnant and been traumatized by the process of childbirth any way or did learning too much about it bring them to this point?

According to this article more and more doctor's are taking a woman's concerns with labor and delivery far more seriously. In the past, they were told to buck up and it was just a natural part of being a woman. However, now a days many women, including Actress Helen Mirren, are actually avoiding pregnancy and child birth due to their fears and anxiety.

I wonder if this is the natural progression of the medicalization of childbirth? Labor and delivery now happens behind closed doors in hospitals with lots of machines and medical interventions. Listening to the impulses of the laboring female body is a relatively alternative idea that will get you branded as a granola cruncher.

During the time when women labored and delivered at home with a midwife or doctor, the family was generally present and a part of the process. Young girls were exposed to the harsh reality of childbirth from an early age and knew what to expect. Our only real exposure to it these days are highly edited and cleansed fairy tales like TLC's A Baby Story. We aren't doing ourselves or the next generation of women any favors by sheltering them from the realities of child birth.

I felt absolutely betrayed following the birth of my first child. All of those women I had spoken to, who had held their tongue and spoken in vague and cryptic terms of the "wonder" of childbirth, had essentially lied to me. Not knowing what was actually going to happen certainly didn't allow me to have an action plan for when things strayed off the "Baby Story" track.

If you have had a child already, do you make it a point to tell young women and expectant mums what to expect or do you fall back on the adage that it is better not to know? Should women be lying to women?

Admin