Alyssa Milano Tweets: What NOT to Say to Pregnant Moms!

Alyssa Milano has been tweeting recently about some of the comments she's received while pregnant. While usually people are well-intentioned or just kidding around, there are some things that most pregnant women would rather not hear.

Last night, Alyssa tweeted "Speaking of whales, every time I try to get off the couch, my dad and brother sing the "Free Willy" music." This came immediately after she tweeted some random blue whale trivia, and I think it's clear that she (and her family) was just joking around. I admire your spunk and sense of humor, Alyssa! But some pregnant women are feeling sensitive about their expanding body, and comments about how HUGE they are may not be well-received.

On the other hand, last month, Alyssa tweeted about a shopping experience, saying, "This woman that is helping us in a furniture store just asked me if I am having twins. Not once but three times." Well, first of all, comments from strangers are a lot harder to excuse than those from friends and family. And asking if a woman is carrying twins is really just another way of saying she's HUGE - not cool.

Here are some other common comments that you might be better off keeping to yourself, unless you know the mom-to-be well and are sure she'll take it the right way:

"Did you use fertility drugs?" This is a common question these days on learning that a woman is expecting twins. Really that is none of your business. The converse question "Do multiples run in your family?" may seem more polite, but really it's getting at the same thing.

"You must be due any day now" or "Haven't you had that baby yet?" These are yet another way of pointing out how large a woman is, and in case you're new to this society, that's generally not considered polite. The second one adds insult to injuring by implying that her pregnancy is old news and you're ready to move on to something else. Really? Well I'm sorry that my nine months of pregnancy is getting annoying to you!

"Can I touch your belly?" The old classic. At least asking is better than just reaching out and touching without permission. But it's still presumptuous and makes many women uncomfortable.

"Have you decided on a name yet?" Actually, this one is ok, as long as you're willing to agree with the answer no matter what. If you don't like the name, smile and pretend you do. Many women (myself included) would rather keep that special choice to themselves until it's official and no one can try to argue.

"Why would you want a natural birth?" and "You shouldn't get an epidural." A woman's birth choices are her own, and she doesn't have to do things the way you did them. Really, neither of these choices is going to guarantee disaster, so butt out.

"Are you sure you should be having a baby at your age?" Whether the mother is older or younger than expected, I'm sure she is well aware by now of any potential risks and hardships she's up against. And what exactly is the response to this question? "Oh my gosh, thank you for pointing that out! I'll just turn back the clock and not conceive this child after all!"

And here's one from my personal experience. About 6 months into my first pregnancy, I needed some comfortable walking shoes. I tried on a pair I liked, but then the saleswoman advised me to buy one size up, because my feet were going to swell. Well, looking back at it now it doesn't seem so bad, but something about the way she said it set me off, and I walked out without buying anything. In general, in addition to not pointing out a pregnant woman's size and questioning her choices, I would add one more category of faux-pas: don't make predictions about all the ways her pregnancy and delivery are going to be unpleasant.

And my feet never did swell, so take that, shoe store lady!