Last night the boyfriend told me he's worried that his son will be jealous and view the baby as an enemy. He finally confessed that the son actually resents me already because he has the feeling that I'm taking his father away from his mother.
These are all normal feelings for a child of recently divorced parents, but I honestly feel like maybe if he and his ex wife changed their rapport, the son would have less resentment towards me, and there would be less worry about the son hating the new baby.
My boyfriend and his ex-wife don't speak to one another except when the boyfriend goes to the ex-wife's house occasionally for dinner to see the son. (While I have my own issues with his ex-wife and going to her house every time he wants to see his son, that's not concerning to me for the time being, I'm more worried about the new baby.) I told him that maybe if he and the ex didn't give the child some sort of hope that they would get back together by pretending to be a normal family, and that if the son would come have dinner with me and the boyfriend instead of him and the ex, then maybe it would be easier for him to accept me and his new little brother or sister.
Finally, I realized I've had enough tension about this ex-wife / son crap. I told him that at 10 years old, the child is too old to be jealous, and needs to accept the situation. I'm sick of this. It always starts with me being calm, then I get frustrated and lose patience. Honestly, I feel like saying he's your damn kid, you deal with it, and don't bring him around if he won't accept the baby. I wish I were more patient, but I'm not right now. My focus is this baby, not his son.
I hope things change for the better ....
