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Posted On 03/30/2012 12:18:30 by nan224

So recently I've been really angry. It's like the past three days straight where all i want to do is knock certain people out, the rest i just want to scream at. My family doesn't help they are the worst of my problems. They constantly belittle me and mentally abuse me. I have major depression issues and i hate myself, they may seem the same but they aren't. I hate myself as a whole, mind body, clothing, attitude, everything. I thought i had people to rely on that where gonna help me and love me but i have come to realise yet again that they are all a bunch of liers... i feel alone a side from the baby growing in me, i feel vulnerable. Worst of all i feel like a monster created to take abuse and just live with it. I've come to the conclusion that my tears only bring others joy and the upper-hand over me.. if only there where people who cared all of the time, if only someone actually love me, if only i wasn't alone in this pregnancy and life.. i don't feel pity for myself just simply anger because i am not good enough for others, i am not what they want me to be. I can only fake what people want me to be. 

Yes it hurts but pain only last a little while. Pain is a weakness something others feed off of, there fore it isn't a friend of mine. I hide my pain, my suffering, and my sarrow they aren't others to feed off of they are mine to deal with.. Mine to hide. Friday, March 30, 2012