Before I ask the question I would like to give a quick history so you can understand why I ask...
So when I discoverd I was pregnant, the first question that came to mind is what Gynae should I use. (I did not have a specialist as of yet).
Being in Mombasa in Kenya, my choices are limited. it basically came down to one male with a very good reputation and two females who were not well known.
Feeling young and vulnerable I went for the female option, the first few weeks passed fine, I noticed though that she was a little short with me if I called her for any reason and was frequently rushed through appointments.
The first appointment, I told her that I thought I was pregnant and that i had two positive home urine tests. She asked me, "So.... what do you want me to do?" Rather a taken back by this question, I assumed that this was because I had booked an appointment before the fetus was well established.
Other then that the next few weeks went well, she made an appointment to see me again at 6 weeks .I noticed though that she was a little short with me if I called her for any reason.
At six weeks on the dot and two days before I was due to go and see her again, I started bleeding heavily and was admitted into hospital. This was at about midnight. I called her on the way to the hospital, and despite her reassurances that she would be there when I arrived she never showed up, I was attended by the nurses that night. (They took good care of me!!)
She arrived the next morning at 9 oclock, I had been sedated the night before and was feeling unwell. She arrived in my room accompanied by a nurse and asked me to remove my underwear which I did, then before I knew what was happeningand with no warning at all so I could ask that the room be cleared she plunged her fingers deep inside my vagina!! This was not only painful, but left me feeling embarrased and mildly violated. Putting this aside in my mind (having never had an internal exam before and not knowing what it feels like), I asked her what the medication she had prescribed for me was and what it did. She responded by saying "trust me it will make you well just take it". I had to go on to the internet to find out what it was. (progesterone tablets).
I stayed in the hospital for four days and she came in every morning, to monitor my progress and to check on the bleeding.There were mercifully no more internal exams.
The final straw happened two weeks later when i called her to ask about an NT test. being a first time mum and having had advise coming at me from all corners regarding the NT test, I decided that I ought to call her and find out what it is and when I needed to get it done. (Im sure this could have waited till our next appointment but I was excited and wanted to know what it was.) She told me down the phone "are you going to let me tell you what to do, or are you going to listen to other people?" and promptly hung up the phone on me.
I never called her back and I cancelled my appointments.
Having had my fingers burned so badly by the previous Gynae I decided to go with the male, since I have been with him I have been very happy and more comfortable, he has been polite, he has explained everything to me. My first appointment with him took 45mins as he sat me down with my husband and explained the ins and outs of pregnancy and what I could expect from my body. I have called him on numerous occaisions and he has been patient and understanding even with the qusetions that to me now sound silly.With the change of Docs came a great peace of mind.
The one thing I had been dreading was the internal exam, having had a bad previous experience and not knowing wether it was nbormal or not it had been constantly weighing on my mind. However due to my history of bleeding the doc suggested that he would leave this untill the last minute as he did not want to provoce any unwanted reactions. This happened today, I am pleased to report that the doctor sat me down and first explained what he was going to do (he also took a swab) then he gave me some time in his room alone to get ready. Once ready he made sure I was comfortable and talked me through the procedure as he did it. There was no pain, and I left his office feeling calm relaxed and reassured.
So the Question I would pose is....
Is the idea that a woman who should be more able to sympathise and understand what you are going through a better choice for an OB / Gynea?Logic dictates that this should be the case but I have learned differently.
