I still remember the day 26 August 2008 I realized that I am pregnant. It was the happiest moment of our life. I was married for 5yrs and this was the news that I was waiting for every single month. My due date as per the DR was 5 May 2009. I always felt that my baby would see this wonderful world and be with us on 2nd May as it was my parents wedding anniversary. I went down to my parents home on 1st April 2009. Had my regular check up every week on Thursdays and the entire test results were normal. On April 23rd (Thursday) went down for my check and the Dr informed that the baby is very happy inside and would take at least another week. On the way back went down to purchase items for my baby as per the list given by the Dr as after a week we would have to rush to the hospital any moment. I could see and feel my baby in every item I purchased. The next day (Friday 24th April) in the evening my uncle and aunt came, we were busy laughing and when they were about to leave my uncle informed that he felt I would deliver the baby in the next 24-48 hrs. I took it as a joke and as soon as they left after an hour I could feel some vaginal fluid. I told my mom and younger brother that we better rush to the hospital as I felt that my water bag broke. I took a hot shower and rushed to the hospital. They check and informed that I would go into labor soon and would deliver the baby by next day afternoon or evening. I was so excited to see my baby. I could not sleep the whole night and at about 3am had slight labor pain. My morning 8 the pain was instance but as per the Dr the dilation by 5cm and the babies head was still up. She informed that we would wait for some more time and if the babies head would not come in the correct position would go for C-sec. I did not care if it was normal or C-sec, I just wanted my baby in my hand. At 9.30AM when they check the dilation was 10cms and the babies head was in the correct position and at 10.50AM on 25th April my baby boy was born. I saw my baby was a boy and the Dr rushed my baby out of the labor room without informing me anything. I waited thinking that they would clean my baby and get my baby back soon. In 15min my Dr came and informed that my baby did not cry, but there is nothing to worry as they are trying their best, at that very moment I could hear a baby cry and was so happy and asked if it was my baby but it wasn’t. I thought that there could be some complication but never occurred to me that I would loose my baby. After 45 min I saw couple of Dr entering the labor room and I could feel something really bad news coming up. They said that my baby did not cry still, his heart beats were dripping down and he is not responding to any medication. They brought me out from the labor room and after couple of hours my brother came up informing that the condition of my baby is critical and even if we get our baby his brain is dead and he would never be like a normal baby. I took all the courage I had to go see my baby in the NICU. He was a big baby of 3.1kg, fair, chubby and looked exactly like my hubby. He was blue in color with tubes in his mouth and nose. I could feel the pain he was going through. I could not bear it any longer and gave the permission for the Dr to go ahead with whatever they wanted to do. My baby left all of us in tears and sadness at 2.45pm. The priest was called from the church and he was cremated that very evening. My husband could not see our baby and he did not want to see him too as he would not be able to handle the situation. He was of great support for me. I asked the Dr to send me back home as I could not stay in the hospital any longer with all the babies crying around me. Even now when I hear a baby crying I get shivers all over and close my ears. I cannot bear it. I named my baby as NOAH. There has never been a single day after that I have not cried for my baby. I do feel like going back to the graveyard and getting him back to our life. He was an angel send by God into our lives and God took him back from us. I pray to God everyday and I have confidence in HIM that HE would return my baby back to me.
I am waiting for that day.
